Conversations With My Self!

Some days (OK, most days) I feel like I'm two separate people meshed into one. Don't know what I mean? Maybe this will help:

Me: I'm having a great hair day.

Negative Me: Yeah, maybe, but your roots are starting to show. Not very appealing really.

Me: So far I haven't had a single crisp or piece of chocolate. I am proud of myself.

Negative Me: Sure, you say that now but let's wait till the end of the day shall we? then we'll see who's laughing. Mwahahahaha

Me: Great. Yay! That hunk of a security guy totally checked me out. I knew this dress I was wearing today was the right choice.

Negative Me: He probably thought you were a shoplifter. Hmm, wonder if you actually fit the profile?

Me: I like this top, think I'll try it on. Where are the fitting rooms? It really does look nice on me. I think I'll buy it. It doesn't make my bottom look so big and the front is flattering.

Negative Me: Jesus Christ. Is that what your ass really looks like? Good God woman, put the dress down, your clothes back on and forget about it. Why bother? Your ass still looks huge. Who are you kidding?

Me (end of the day): I think I've done really well today. I stuck to the program. Bravo.

Negative Me: This is not over yet you know. Although I must admit you did do well sticking to your program. Well done.

Me (laughing): I can't believe I keep talking to myself. This is so funny. Creepy but funny. I really have to stop.

Negative Me: You were always a bit on the loony side. They should get you diagnosed. Remember when blah blah blah.

Me: Shut up already. Good night.

Eventually I bought the top and a dress for good measure which my husband agreed looked great on me. And I stuck with the program. I have tamed the beast in me for today.